Monday, August 08, 2016

A Trans-Woman Who Lives As A Woman

While I am at a conference in Vermont, I am posting some oldies but goodies. I will be returning to live blogging on Wednesday.

From August 2, 2013



That was what Lt Colonel Cate McGregor in the Australian army used to describe herself and it resonated with me. Because that is how I identify; she goes on to say that she knows that she will never be “a woman” and that she will always be transgender.

I sometimes say that “I am a woman with a unique history” I believe that no matter how much you pass and assimilate into society you will always know your history others might see you as a woman, but you will know your history. I was talking to a friend today and the topic about scouting came up; I said that I made cattail pancakes in the scouts. Now we both knew I meant the Boy Scouts, but if she didn’t know my history she probably would have thought Girl Scouts.

I was talking to a trans-woman at a conference who was saying she was talking to the woman next to her on the plane who was noticeably pregnant, when the other passenger saw a picture of my friend’s daughter she asked her if she had a difficult labor. What would you say if you were asked that question, no I’m really her father?

At a support group meeting once there was a woman crying that I had never seen at a meeting before and I thought she was a spouse of a member. When we did our check-in it turned out that she was in deep stealth and had transitioned over 30 years before and was married with adopted children. They went to buy a house and the credit check came back AKA John Doe and the husband wanted to know what that meant; when she told him he threw her out of the apartment, changed all the locks and filed for divorce.

So when I hear a trans-woman say that “I’m a woman” I think “really?” Would a woman have to think twice what say about childbirth? Would a woman have to think twice before saying that she was in scouting?

That is why I like what Lt Colonel Cate McGregor said, “A trans-woman living as a woman” and I would add that before I transitioned I was a trans-woman living as a man.

I don’t really care if you say “I am a woman.” But I would say ask yourself, really?

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