Lateral Hostility In The Lesbian Community

This morning the Huffington Post Gay Voices has an article about a new documentary "The Same Difference," that looks at discrimination by lesbians against other lesbians.

The Huffington Post: Why is this documentary important?
Nneka Onuorah: "The Same Difference" documentary is important because it is something that is needed in the community. There are people who are suppressing who they really are to fit in, in fear of being jumped, outcaste and ostracized. It also isn’t a topic that is ever brought to light so it is an ongoing negative thing. This documentary is going to start a conversation and hopefully have people be more open-minded to being accepting of people who have different ways of doing things. Not just in the lesbian community but people in general. Who would have thought that there would be hatred amongst a community from the inside that already gets it from the outside.

What types of misconceptions are you trying to be dispelled through this work?
One of the misconceptions I am trying to dispel through this documentary is the belief that there are rules to being who you are. In the lesbian community, for example, if you’re a butch lesbian you can’t do anything girly. You can’t be too beautiful, your pants can’t be too tight, if you get your hair straight that’s wrong and getting pregnant isn’t right. It's almost like being a part of a gang. People don’t want to beat you or make you feel bad if you do something that’s out of the “norm” but we are gay we are already out of the norm. I also want people to see the true title of what “The Same Difference” means. We always judge others for things that they do, but we don’t see how the things we judge people for parallel with things we do that might not be right. It’s the Same Difference. Just like how there are some people who are a part of the heterosexual community that protest against us and think what we are doing isn’t right we are taking those same attitudes and putting them onto each other.

Does this sound familiar? In the trans-community we have the HBSers (back in the nineties and before there were rigid standards on who could transition. You had to be attracted to men and you had to be able to integrate into society. What is now called gender dysphoria was called “Harry Benjamin Syndrome” and those who adhere to the old standards are called the somewhat derogatory term HBSer) who try to enforce their views of what a trans-person is, how they should look, and how they should behave.

Unfortunately, that is common behavior in any marginalized community, there are some people who have internalized self-phobia and want to distance themselves from other people who are like them. Immigrants who have been here for a number of years look down on those who just immigrated, they are “fresh off the boat,” you pick any marginalized and find it.

In the trans-community some of those who can successfully integrate into society look down on those who cannot and call them names like “men in dresses” and some crossdressers look down on drag queens. It is internalized transphobia for those who still follow the old standards and look down on those who do not meet their high standards, and it is homophobia for those who look down on drag queens.

The article goes on to say,

The inner-community policing of gender roles segregates the lesbian community. It makes it hypocritical. It causes seclusion. It makes people not have a place to feel comfortable. It also causes people to have to hide the some of the most beautiful parts of themselves. It limits the success of people as well…