Monday, June 30, 2014

Words Of Wisdom...

It has been seven years since I transitioned! In some ways it seems like yesterday and at other times it seems like a hell of a long time ago… in another lifetime.

I suppose I am to have some words of wisdom to say but I don’t. My life seems dull and boring to me. I have been on hormones for ten years so the effects of them have long since stabilized; the roller coaster ride has long since leveled out.

I think the way I transitioned was the correct way, I took my time learned all there was to learn about hormones and the pitfalls of transitioning. I was Diana for all but eight hours a day during the week, the only time I was “male” was at work and I did that for a number of years before I went full time and legally changed my name.

It also helped that I retired the same day that I transitioned, they closed down the factory, and I took early retirement. In some ways it was harder to adjust to retirement than it was to transition. I had practice living as a woman but I went into retirement cold. If you look at the major stressors in life; in the top ten, I had four. I lost both of my parents within the previous five years (63x2= 126), I got laid off (47) and I retired (45), and they don’t even have one for transitioning; that probably would be worth 100 points. The chart says “Score of 300+: At risk of illness,” but I got through it with only one major illness.

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There was an article in the Huffington Post by Annika Penelope about the pitfalls of transitioning that I want to share with you…

1. Brace yourself for beauty culture.
I didn’t find this to be true, she talks about make-up and how hard it is to enter that culture. I think that is only true with some women, while others don’t touch a drop of beauty cream. Most of the women that I know do not use any make-up at all and they like me think you’re made-up if you put on lipstick.

2. Say goodbye to male privilege.
Now this one I did find true, as the Joni Mitchell song Big Yellow Taxi says "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)"

3. People will surprise you.
Most definitely and usually for the better

4. Prepare for (micro)aggressions.
Another truism

5. Go to therapy.
I only went long enough to get my letter for hormones and I will probably go back just for surgery/

6. Pursue other interests.
I love photography and I go to the photography club at senior center in town when ever I can. I also do volunteer works to keep me busy.

7. Take a deep breath and be patient.
Always a good idea, change happens slowly

8. Save Money
Another good idea in gender, you never know if your next paycheck will be your last paycheck.

9. Don't expect transitioning to solve all your problems.
You are you, transition does not change that and it will bring you an entire new set of problems.

10. You do you.
So tonight to celebrate I think I’ll go out and have a lobster dinner.

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Profound revelation number one... Most people do not care that you are trans, they just treat you as a person!

Profound revelation number two... Women smile more! It is like you are now a member of a secret club and the secret handshake is a smile.

Profound revelation number three... My god they talk in the bathroom!

Profound revelation number four... The stalls in the bathroom are much smaller than the men's bathrooms!

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