Tuesday, January 07, 2014

My Heart Stopped!

That is what I said at work once; I was having a panic attack and I thought that I couldn’t feel my pulse. I stood up and announced to my technicians that I couldn’t feel my pulse and my heart stopped, but after standing there for a few seconds and not keeling over I sheepishly sat down.

I used to get four or five panic attacks a year where I would have heart palpitations, tightness in the chest and sweaty palms, all the symptoms of a heart attack, but it wasn’t a heart attack but a panic attack. After an emergency room visit one night I was diagnosed with a mild heart arrhythmia and a panic attack.

The amazing thing is that my panic attacks stopped once I transitioned; the stress of living two lives was creating my panic attacks.

When I was beginning to transition I dreaded going to stores. One time I had to go grocery stopping if I wanted to eat that night but I couldn’t bring myself to go in the store. Instead I sat out in the car crying. The way I overcame my phobia was a friend went to the store with me but didn’t stay next to me, instead she kept in sight so that I knew she was there to help me if needed. The other area where I had problems was in a confined space like a checkout line or an elevator. On my own I developed a mechanism to fight my fears. I read the magazine and newspaper headlines in the checkout line or in an elevator I stared at the floor numbers. Later on I found out that there was a technical name for that… grounding or anchoring.

That leads me to what I really wanted to talk about, a website that helps with panic or anxiety attacks; the Supporting a Loved One Through PTSD or Panic Attacks website provides some easy and common tips for grounding.

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