My Story Part 121 – The Strongest People

Remember those "Life Stress Test" where you add up all the major changes in your life? Well how many of them are affected when you transition?

Death of spouse or child    
Divorce    
Marital Separation    
Detention in jail or other institution    
Death of a close family member (eg parent or sibling)    
Major personal injury or illness    
Marriage    
Being fired from work    
Marital reconcilitation    
Retirement    
Major change in health or behaviour of family member    
Pregnancy of spouse/partner    
Sexual difficulties    
Gaining a new family member (e.g. through birth, adoption etc)    
Major business readjustment (e.g. merger, reorganisation, etc)    
Major change in financial state (e.g. a lot worse off or a lot better off)    
Death of a close friend    
Changing to a different type of work    
Major change in the number of arguments with spouse (e.g. a lot more or less)    
Taking on a significant (to you) mortgage    
Foreclosure on a mortgage or loan    
Major change in responsibility at work (e.g. promotion, transfer, demotion)    
Son or daughter leaving home (marriage, college etc)    
In-law troubles    
Outstanding personal achievement    
Partner beginning or ceasing work outside of the home    
Beginning or ceasing formal schooling    
Major change in living conditions (e.g. new house, renovating)    
Revision of personal habits (dress, manners, association etc)    
Troubles with the boss    
Change in residence    
Changing to a new school    
Major change in usual type and/or amount of recreation    
Major change in church or spiritual activities (e.g. a lot more or less than usual)    
Major change in social activities (e.g. clubs, dancing, movies etc)    
Taking on a small loan (e.g. purchasing car, TV, freezer etc)    
Major change in sleeping habits (e.g. a lot more or less)    
Major change in number of family get-togethers (e.g. a lot more or less)    
Major change in eating habits (e.g. a lot more or less food intake)    
Holiday or vacation    
Christmas    
Minor violations of the law (e.g. traffic or parking infringement)

I think it becomes very obvious why we are under so much stress, I can check most of the boxes and if the person who is transitioning is married, it is almost a grand slam. My friend who is a therapist up in the northwest corner of the state said to me that he think we are the strongest people that he knows and it is because of our transition.

When I took the test, this is what it said for my results…

According to the Holmes & Rahe* statistical prediction model your score means a significant amount of life change and a significant susceptability (about 80% probability) to stress-related illness. However please keep in mind that there are many variables that interact on health including positive factors such as support from family, friends or work associates. If you are concerned about your stress levels then you should seek the assistance of a qualified counsellor or health practitioner.

And I have to agree. I have had stress related illnesses including panic attacks which stopped once I transitioned. What do they say, “That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and I think it is true. It could also be one of the reasons why we as a community have such a high suicide rate.

I also have to say that "positive factors such as support from family, friends or work associates." is very important to our transition. In my transition I had the support of my extended family, my brother and his family as well as the support of my cousins. Without their help I do not know where I would be now.

People tell me that I am brave, but really they should say I’m strong. I am not brave because I don’t have a choice, it got to a point where I had to transition because I couldn’t keep being trans inside me anymore. The stress was becoming unbearable and I believe that the stresses lead to my heart condition and panic attacks. I had to transition. I am strong because I am a survivor, I didn’t take the easy way out.