Saturday, September 30, 2006

Shop Till You Drop

As many of you know I am the Director of a support group, well we asked our members “What do you want?” and the answer came back “a shopping trip”. So another Board member and I put together a “Shopping Trip” to Northampton MA. and we said we would meet at a commuter parking lot off of I-91. So we waited and we waited and nobody else showed up, so the two of us went shopping.
First stop was an alterative bookstore where I bought two books, “Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks and Other Outlaws” by Kate Bornstein and “Transgender Rights” edited by Currah, Juang and Minter. After the bookstore we wandered up and down Main St. stopping at several shops along the way. I bought a white embroidered gauze top (Fantasia Fair is having a “Sixties Dance” and I figured I would wear that top, a teal tiered broomstick skirt, a scarf around my head and love beads). My friend spotted a maroon spaghetti strap dress with a slit up one side is a store window. We went to dinner at the Northampton Brewery and while we were eating she said she had to back to try on the dress. So after dinner we marched back up the hill to the store and she tried on the dress, she looked fantastic in it. So she bought it and all the way back to the commuter parking she kept saying she couldn’t believe how much she spent on the dress, that was more than she paid for her daughters high school prom dress.
Well we did shop until we dropped, now I am going to take a nice long hot bath.

Saturday Six - Episode 129

From Patrick’s Weekender blog

1. You're arranging to move. If money were no object, would you hire movers to come in and pack your belongings as well as drive them, or would you prefer to do the packing yourself?
I would have them pack everything up. We just sold my parents house and it was no fun packing up and moving everything to my house and than latter moving everything up to the cottage. Also I do not have a strong back.

2. Of the new shows that have premiered so far this season, which were you most looking forward to seeing?
Didn't watch one new show nor do I intend to.

3. Did the show live up to your expectations?
I watched the CSI shows and Dr Who. Yes they were all good

4. Take the quiz: What type of lunatic are you?
Naw, none of the questions I could relate to.

5. What habit of yours would you say is the craziest?
I don’t have any..... but other might think so ;-)

6. What do you own more of: VHS Tapes, CDs, DVDs or Books?
Books by a long shot, next come VHS Tapes.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Five on Friday

Chicken Soup for the Friday Fiver's Soul

1. How often do you usually get sick each year?
So far since the beginning of the year I have taken four sick days.

2. Which is worse to catch: a cold or the flu?
The flu! A cold is not even a close second.

3. Do you plan to get a flu shot? Why or why not?
Yes, see number 2’s answer

4. What are your favorite home remedies for cold and flu symptoms?
For a cold get plenty of rest, drink a lot of fluids that are high in Vitamin C (Cranberry juice, apple cider, lemonade, etc.) and for the flu take Advil to bring down the fever.

5. When you're sick do you take "sick days" or do you force yourself to continue working?
I have a bit of the martyr syndrome in me, so when I take off from work you know I am SICK!

What are all these questions about being sick?

Friday Five:

Friday Five: Groups

And speaking of groups...

1. Tell us about any group(s) you currently belong to. (e.g. book club, knitting circle, walking buddies, etc.)
Yikes! Do I belong to groups! Well the first group that I belong to is the Connecticut Outreach Society which is a social/support group and I am the Executive Director of the organization. Tomorrow we are taking a shopping trip up to Northampton MA.
The next group I stop by and visit now and then is the Twenty Club.
Followed by Unity up in Springfield MA and I usually drop by and visit them once a month or so.
I am also on the Board of Directors of the Connecticut Trans Advocacy Coalition. We help transpeople find housing, jobs, medical help and legal aide.
Still more to come.....
I am on the Planning Committee for the True Colors Conference for GLBT Youth
And lastly (for now) I am on the Advisory Committee for the Trans Health Conference being held this spring at the University of Connecticut School of Medicine.

2. Do you feel energized or drained by being in a group situation? If the answer is "it depends," on what does it depend?
Naw! Just kidding, yes I feel empowered, I feel that I am doing something that maybe will make the lives of the next generation of GLBT youth easier.

3. Is there a role you naturally find yourself playing in group situations? That is, do you naturally fall into the leader role, or the one who always makes sure the new person feels welcome, or the quiet one who sits back and lets others shine, or the host?
I just sit there and don’t say a word.
I don’t think you believe that for a second, no I take an active part and end up volunteering to help out even more.

4. Handshakes vs. hugs: discuss.
I don’t know why but the MtF trans-community always wants to hug one another, it is like our secret signal. You step into a room and everyone wants to hug you, you go out of the room for a few minutes and they want to hug you come back into the room.

5. Ice breakers: a playful way to build community in a lighthearted manner, or a complete and utter hell of forced fun and awkwardness?
From an engineering manager background, I just want to get down to business. At the True Colors committees they do that all the time. It has it good points and bad points.

Bonus: If you answered "playful and lighthearted," share your favorite ice breaker.
At the last True Colors committee meeting we had to put an adjective in front of your name and then repeat everyone’s name and adjective before you. Mine was Dynamic Diana


From Belicove blog

Q1 - Sleep: When was the last time you pulled an all-nighter, and why? If you can't recall, then where's the most embarrassing place you've ever fallen asleep?
Back in my college days some 32 years ago. However, I have worked occasionally third shift when we were running a test, but I did sleep before and after work.

Q2 - Trust: Who do trust the most, or in what order would you rank your level of trust for each of the following: Clergy, Teachers, Police, Doctors, Print Journalists, Bankers, TV Newscasters, Scientists, Lawyers, Members of Congress, and Stockbrokers?
Doctors – my life depends upon them
Print Journalists
TV Newscasters
Members of Congress – even though I am helping out on a campaign for the US Senate race, I believe he is the lesser if the two eveils

Q3 - Sick: When you’re sick, do you prefer to be left alone or do you like to have someone attending to your every whim and desire?
Sick, like I am now? I would rather be left along to suffer in peace so I can just curl up in bed and sleep.

Q4 - Sidekick: If you could pick any cartoon character to be your very own personal assistant, who would you pick and why?
No cartoon character stands out to me since I don’t follow the comics, but if I had to pick it would be the mother in “For Better or Worst”


I am slowly coming back to the land of the living, I went to work for the first time in two days and came home afterwards and crashed. Right now I still have a stuffed up sinuses along with a sinus headache so it is back to bed.
Once I feel better I will catch up on all the quizzes.

g’nite all

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Thursday's Poem

The Word Not Spoken

The word said,
means commitment.

The word said,
means obligations.

The word said,
means duty.

The word said,
is a milestone

The word said,
is another stone in the foundation.

The word said,
is a fork in the road taken.

The word said,
closes the door behind and opens the door in front.

The word said,
burns the bridges.

The word said,
can never be unsaid.

I am a ...

This poem comes to mind because in a little over a week I have to speak the words again. This time to my cousin and once you say the words you can’t say “I was only joking!” Once you say the words your life is forever changed and you must deal with whatever the consequences are.
And it’s the waiting that kills you, the anticipation. You can only hope for the best and plan for the worst.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

I Got a Cold!

I hate colds!
I got this one from work, one of my technicians sons got it at day care, gave it to Daddy, who gave it to the shop.
Hopefully this will be my one and only cold of the season.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Manic Monday

From Manic Monday Blog....


What is the greatest source of stress in your life?
Work. Only one more year to go before retirement!

How do you deal with tension on a day-to-day basis? Cry, hide, yell?
I try not to let it bother me, why worry over what you don’t have control over.

What do you find to be the best way to wind down after a tough day?
Photography, reading, doing these silly little memes, taking a long hot bath, going out to dinner with some friends, etc

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Sunday Seven - Episode 56

From Patrick's Weekender Blog

Name up to seven magazines that you either have subscribed to, currently subscribe to, or would subscribe to if money were no object.

1. PC Photo
2. Yankee
3. Science News
4. National Geographic
5. Time/Newsweek
6. New Yorker
7. PC World

It is not so much about money as it is about time.

What Sex Am I?

That is a name of a 70’s documentary about transsexual, but it also applies to Intersexed persons. Here is an article that I came across in the Amherst Times...


.... In the last several years, the Intersex Society has formed an active speakers’ bureau, and at Cook County Hospital in Chicago, after Chase addressed the genetic counselors, a young woman stood up to speak. A 20-year-old DePaul student, she was very pretty, in a chunky necklace, floral shirt and hiphugger jeans. “I found out last year I was intersex; I was in my freshman women’s studies class,” the young woman, who asked not to be identified in this article, said. Her professor was lecturing about various intersex conditions and started describing the symptoms — “No periods, can’t have children, ambiguous genitals. I called my mom, and I said: ‘What’s it called? What do I have?’ ” It turned out she has partial-androgen-insensitivity syndrome, a phenomenon in which fetuses with male chromosomes (XY) can’t properly metabolize male hormones and are born looking mostly like girls. “When she said the name I threw the phone across the room and started crying. I cried for like a week.”.....

..... The young woman continued speaking, her story raw and captivating. “I grew up a girl. I was always a tomboy, I wrestled, I played softball. I had bladder problems when I was a kid, and when I went in to have my urethra fixed” — at age 3 — “they decided to give me a vaginoplasty and also a clitoridectomy,” that is, surgically reshape the vagina and reduce the size of her clitoris. “When I finally learned all this, I spent a lot of time staring in the mirror” — she pressed her hands flat against her cheeks and stretched her skin of her face back toward her ears — “going: ‘Do I look like a boy? Do I look like a boy?’ Now I think being intersex is pretty weird but kind of sweet. I just wish someone had given me the tools to be able to talk about it.”.....

..... Among the arguments against genital surgery is the fact that sexual identity does not derive solely, or perhaps even primarily, from a person’s genitals. As Eric Vilain, professor of human genetics, pediatrics and urology at U.C.L.A., has shown, many genetic markers go into making a person male or female, and those markers affect many parts of the body. In studies of mice, he has found 54 genes that work differently in male and female brains just 10 days after conception. In humans, we’ve all been taught, and we’d like to believe, that being male or female is as a simple as having XY or XX chromosomes, but it is not. Even the International Olympic Committee acknowledged this when it suspended its practice of mandatory chromosomal testing for female athletes in 2000, reflecting current medical understanding that a female who tests positive for a Y chromosome can still be a woman.....

I think this article is important for two reasons.
First, assigning gender at birth for intersexed persons is wrong! To perform surgery on a person because they do not conform to our ideas of what is normal is just totally wrong, let them decide.
Second, some of our more conservative states and the federal government have or are trying to pass laws that say a marriage is between a man and a woman. They are also trying to define what is male and female, as the above article points out, nature does not like to be defined.
I urge you to read the whole article is very interesting.

~Happy Fall Y'all~

By the way Sunday...

What are 5 things that you enjoy most about this time of year?

1. The change in seasons
2. The fairs
3. Thanksgiving
4. The cool weather
5. Hiking

The Friday Five

Someone's in the kitchen...

# Given a choice, and imagining that money and time were no object, would you rather cook dinner, eat out or order in?
I like cooking, but I like also eating out, so it is a toss-up between those two. Order-in is a last resort for me.
Maybe that has something to do with my doctor always telling to lose weight.

# What is the most elaborate meal you've ever prepared yourself or purchased at a restaurant?
Veal Saltim Bocca, Corn Pudding and Rice Pilaf and for the recipes go here.

# What food do you find yourself making and/or eating way too much?
Pasta, hands down

# What was your most disastrous cooking/eating out experience?
Oh, that is an easy one. I tried making Lobster Ravioli with Newburg Sauce, it was a disaster. The pasta for the ravioli must have been a quarter in thick and I ended up just eating the filling.

# Would you rather cook for someone else or have them cook for you?
I would rather cook.

Saturday Six - Episode 127

From Patrick's Weekender Blog

1. You find out that you've just gotten a new job in a different state. Which room of your home will be the most difficult to get packed and why?
Can I say the whole house? But if I have to pick just one, it would be the basement, because it is the room with the most stuff that I will have to pack.

2. Which room is most likely to contain the greatest number of items that you should throw away, but haven't, yet?
My bedroom or more specifically the closet, it is a mess.

3. What is your single greatest strength and single greatest weakness if you were to enter the dating scene tomorrow?
My greatest strength, I think, is me being trans. It gives me a different view on life, a boarder prospective. My greatest weakness is me being trans, it certainly narrows the field.

4. Take the quiz: What are your dating strengths and weaknesses?

Dating StrengthsDating Weaknesses
1. Financial Situation - 84.6%
2. Open-Mindedness - 81.8%
3. Independence - 71.4%
4. Spirituality - 61.5%
5. Optimism - 57.1%
1. Insecurity - 69.2%
2. Humorlessness - 62.5%
3. Vanity - 58.3%
4. Appearance - 55.6%
5. Shyness - 54.2%

Dating Strengths Explained
Financial Situation - You've got your financial situation under control, which is a very desirable quality. Be careful to avoid women who are only interested in your money.
Open-Mindedness - You are open to trying new things and entertaining new ideas, and this widens your pool of available women.
Independence - Your strong sense of independence comes in handy while dating. You are not held back or tied down; you are free to pursue your interests.
Spirituality - Your spiritual side brings you peace and balance, and keeps you grounded. This is attractive, as you can help reinforce this quality in other people.
Optimism - People are drawn to your positive outlook. Your optimism attracts others to you.

Dating Weaknesses Explained
Insecurity - Your insecurity makes you doubt yourself, but you must learn to love and trust yourself if you want to succeed in dating.
Humorlessness - You need to learn how to take a joke, or better yet how to tell a good one. A well-developed sense of humor is high on the list of desired traits for daters.
Vanity - Learn to put a lower priority on looks. Appearance is, of course, important, but vanity is undesireable. The only people you will attract are the superficial.
Appearance - Devoting a greater effort at making good first impressions is a must. Try to be fit and develop a style if you want to catch a woman's attention.
Shyness - You know all too well the limits shyness places on you. Putting yourself out there in social situations may be difficult, but essential to your dating success.

Take the Dating Diversions Latest Online Dating Quiz

5. What's the biggest surprise from this quiz's findings?
I don’t really think that there was any, no great insight.

6. Would you ever go out on a blind date with someone you'd met online if you'd never talked to them through any other method than email?
I think I might, I would definitely go to a public space to meeting them and make sure friends knows about the meeting. A friend is meeting guys through an on-line dating service and she meets them at the Creative Cocktail Hour (see below) where she has friends around her.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

State of Texas vs. a former COS member

A former Connecticut Outreach Society’s member is making history.

Transgender gets "poured out" in Texas Court decision -- TG thinking to appeal

Phyllis Frye here -- 21 Sep 2006

I was saddened this morning to hear the judge tell me that while he would grant a change of name for my male-to-female TG client, he would DENY the request for changing the gender marker from M to F on the drivers license.

While sympathetic and kind, the judge felt he did not have the authority to do so. Obviously, he and I disagree on this issue. But it was cordial and NOT a personality or bigotry thing.

This was my second court appearance for my client in this matter. The first appearance was a full three hour hearing with seven exhibits admitted into evidence; about a half hour each of sworn testimony by my TG client, sworn testimony of a medical expert and a police expert via video deposition, and presentation by me; plus about an hour of back and forth with the judge and me addressing his concerns and the three trial briefs that I filed anticipating those concerns. It was all on the record. That occurred three weeks ago with the result being that the judge wished for time to consider the matter.

The judge acknowledged at this morning's hearing that he understood that I had prepared this for an appeal in the event of an adverse ruling by him. He even agreed to delay, at my request, the date of entry of his adverse ruling to give my client time to think things through and time to come up with the funds if she chooses to go for an appeal. We will be back in court in the coming month to enter a few more items, file one more brief and begin the short and exacting appellate time clock.

In layperson terms, the issue for appeal is this: Did the judge abuse his discretionary powers in refusing to rule that for a male-to-female transgendered person, a change of name without a corresponding correction of M to F on the drivers license acts as an incomplete change of name? This is an issue that has been festering since I developed it to use it in the courts beginning in the mid-1980s. The time and subject are overly ripe for appellate review and clear decision.

I am not releasing my client's name nor the judge's name in this email for two reasons:
1. My client still doesn't know what she is going to do. She wants to appeal "for the sake of the community", but is very short on funding.
2. While I disagree with the judge's ruling, the judge was very decent about the entire proceeding and gave me a most excellent and full record for appellate review. He does not deserve to be blasted. Decent people can disagree in a decent manner.

If you wish to help my client go for the appeal, there is a 501c3 fund with a tax number (pending) of 20-2216619, and the foundation name is as follows:

Foundation for Family and Marriage Equality
c/o Nechman, Simoneaux and Frye
2990 Richmond Avenue, Suite 400
Houston, Texas 77098
ATTN: Transgender Appellate Account

Phyllis Frye is a Civil Rights lawyer in Texas and the person that she is representing if a former COS member who moved down to Texas a couple of years ago. Her client is a post-op transsexual (That means she has not had her surgery yet.) but is on hormones.
Here in Connecticut I can legally get the gender designator changed from M to F on my driver license because I am on hormones and I have a letter from my psychiatrist stating that I am a transsexual and that is what they are trying to get in Texas with her appeal.

Creative Cocktail Party

Last night I went to the monthly cocktail hour at an avant-garde art gallery in Hartford called Real Art Ways and as usual a friend has her trusty little camera and snapped this picture of me.

I have been debating whether or not to post my picture. So if you saw it and then you didn’t and now you do, well I am trying to make up my mind. I am rather shy when it comes to posting my mugshot up on the internet.

Friday, September 22, 2006

3X Thursday


1. What do you think about this whole Thailand coup thing? Do you think over-throwing a government is just? If there was enough reason to do so, would you help accomplish such a task? Why/why not?
I do not know enough about the topic to form an opinion about the coup in Thailand. I do not know if there was a lot corruption in the government or why there was a coup. Our country was founded with a coup; it all depends upon what the government is like. Here in the US we have means of a peaceful change in government by a process called elections.

2. Iran. What do you think of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and his politics? Aside from his eccentricities, do you really think he's an enemy or is doing bad things? Why/why not?
He is a radical who only believes in one form of government and that is his interpretation of the Koran. Once again I don’t know enough to know if he really is the enemy. Are they only making enough fuel for the power plants, I do not know and I believe that might allow UN inspectors to find out.

3. What do you think about open relationships? Do you think couples who do this are playing with fire, or do you think it can work? Would you ever do it? Why/why not?

I think it is plying with fire. If you take a vow you both should honor it, having an open relationship is asking for trouble. I don’t know how you would keep jealousy out of the relationship.
That said, I do know of a three way partnership. I don’t know how they keep it together, they are all adults and they seem happy with the arrangement.

Bonus Question: Even if you don't do politics, what do you think of the upcoming mid-term elections? Do you think it'll be same ole, same ole, or do you think something siginificant could happen this time around? Why/why not?
I think there will be changes, how much of a change is anyone’s guess. Here in Connecticut there are two Congressional Representative races that are closes where the Republicans might lose their seats. And the Senatorial race is neck and neck between Lieberman and Lamont.
For the 2008 Presidential race I would like to see the Democrats run Senator John Edwards, I think he has a very good chance in wining.

Thursday Threesome

From The Back Porch Blog

::Ice Cream Social::

Onesome: Ice– skating? Yes? No? Rinks? Ponds? No way?
I was never good at skating, my butt used to get too cold from sitting on the ice all the time.

Twosome: Cream– soda? The work of evil scientists or a true pleasure in life?
I love Cream soda and also Root Beer.

Threesome: Social– Are you considered to be a social person? …or are you more likely to not be comfortable with a bunch of people around you? …and wait a moment: how about in a classroom situation? Is that different for you?
I am lousy at small talk and I am nervous in a large crowd. I like to have a bunch of friends around to keep me comfortable, but who doesn’t. When I was in secondary school


From Belicove Blog

Q1 - Jewelry: Aside from an engagement ring and/or wedding band, is there a particular piece of jewelry that you wear all the time or most of the time? If so, what is it, who gave it to you, and how long have you had it?
Yes, I have a favorite ring that I got when my mother passed away four years ago.

Q2 - Education: Do you think an undergraduate degree from an elite private college like Harvard, Princeton, or Stanford is worth the cost?
Yes it is worth the cost. I think that it is the networks that you build is what is valuable.

Q3 - Movies: School for Scoundrels, The Science of Sleep, The Guardian, Employee of the Month, Man of the Year, Little Children, Driving Lessons, All the King's Men, The Departed, Marie Antoinette, The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, A Good Year, Stranger Than Fiction, Open Season, Fast Food Nation, The Pursuit of Happyness, Deck the Halls, etc. Which movies are you most looking forward to seeing this fall?
I don’t really care for any of this season’s movies. I am not a movie buff.

Q4 - Music: What's the last song you downloaded from the Internet? If you've never downloaded music, what was the last CD you purchased from a store?
I don’t down load songs from the internet and the last CD I bought was Rent. I liked the movie so I went out and bought the CD and the DVD

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Thursday's Poem

I wrote this poem in one of my lighter moments, it’s sort of whimsical.

The Abyss
By Diana

You don’t even notice it at first.
But, it’s always pulling, pulling.

You think, I can always turn back.
It’s always pulling.

The ground slopes down, down towards the abyss.
It’s always pulling.

You see it, you try to fight it.
But, it’s always pulling

Pulling you down towards it, you fight it, grabbing at anything.
It’s always pulling, pulling.

You slide towards it, faster and faster.

Just one more time. I know I can stop.
But, it’s pulling.

You reach out.
And pick up the dress.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Sunday Seven - Episode 55

From Patrick's Weekender:

Take a walk through your kitchen. Come up with at least seven appliances or electric gadgets that you'd hate to be without when you have kitchen duty for any reasonable length of time.

The three most obvious;
1. The refrigerator
2. Stove
3. Microwave
4. Can opener
5. Food processor
6. Peppermill
7. Knives (Does this count?)

Manic Monday

The Rise and Fall

Fall is almost here. How do you feel about that? What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about the season?
I love the fall with its bright colors, cool autumn air with a hint of what’s to come. I love walking on a leaf covered lane and the sound of leaves rustling under your feet.

What’s your favorite color of fall leaves?
I like them all! I love the contrast between the colors, the red maples against the yellow ash next to the golden birch and the brown oak.

Do you find it more difficult to get up in the morning as the sun comes up later this time of year?
No, I am always up way too early. I wake up long before the sun is even thinking about rising. My problem is that I get tired early in the evening and have a trouble staying awake.

When is the last time you’ve taken a fall or spill and what happened?
About a month ago I capsized a canoe and took an unexpected swim

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Sister-in-law Brithday Party

It has been a long day; I drove up to our cottage in New Hampshire and back today over three hundred miles (three hour drive each way). We had a birthday party for my sister-in-law and all of her kids and grandchildren were there, a total nine adults and four grandchildren (two four years olds, one three year old and one six month old). One of my nephews flew back from San Francisco with his girlfriend for a wedding yesterday in Vermont and joined us at the cottage today. Lucky the weather was good so we were not all stuck in the cottage, I think I would have gone nuts if we were all trapped inside for the day. As it was it was bad enough when it was feeding time for the baby and the other three kids were fighting over the toys, it seemed like they always want the toys that the others had.
Anyhow I had a good time with the family and I left around 5:30 so that I could get back home early enough so that I could unwind from the drive back before I went to bed.

Saturday Six - Episode 126

Patrick’s Weekender

1. You find out that you've just gotten a new job in a different state. Besides your spouse, who is the first person you tell?
My brother

2. With the money in your pocket, wallet or purse right now, could you make change for a $20 bill? Could you make change for a $1 bill?
Yes, a ten and ten singles. More then enough loose change to change a $1 bill

3. Is this ability (or lack of ability) to make change a typical reflection of how much cash and coins you regularly carry?
No, I usually try to have 5 - $1, 1 - $5 and at least a $10

4. Take the quiz: What mythological character are you?

You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person.
However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways.
You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order.
You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

5. Are you typically the "heart breaker" or the "broken-hearted" in your relationship history?

6. Considering your answer to #5, would you rather be the opposite?
I rather have a steady relationship.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

~Cell Phone Mania~

By the way.....

Are you an avid user/constant talker or never-turn-it-on/emergencies-only user?
I am almost an emergency only type user. If I am going out with friends I will leave it on incase there is a last minute change in plans or if I am away from home for vacation.

When did you buy your very first cell phone and why did you buy it?
About four years ago and the story of why is interesting. I was not out to my family yet and I was going to a trans convention in Provincetown MA But I didn’t want to tell my folks where I was going because Provincetown has a reputation as being a Gay town. So I told them I was going to a computer convention in Boston. They wanted to know how to get in touch with me in an emergency, now how do I tell them without giving them a P’town phone number. A friend told me to give them her cell phone number and she would relay the call to me. Problem solved. By the time of the next convention I had a cell phone.

Describe your ringtone.
Just the standard ringtone. The best ringtone that I had heard was the theme song from the Adam’s Family TV show. The friend told me that it is a great ringtone because no one has it other than her, but the draw back is that once them phone rings people around her start unconsciously start humming it.

Do you consider your cell phone a necessity?

Friday, September 15, 2006

Maine Weekend

I am going up to my cousin’s cottage in Maine on the Columbus weekend in October with my brother and sister-in-law. My cousin has a cottage just south of Arcadia National Park; it is about a six hour drive from my house. My cousin will be there with their three kids and their families making it a full house. Also my other cousin might be there with his girlfriend.
I am rather dreading going up there not because everyone will be there but because I have to come out to them about me being trans. It is something I have to do if I am going to transition, I have to tell them. It is not something that they may not notice me walking-in in a dress; I think that when I transition they just might notice a little difference in me.
Oh, how I hate doing this, I dread this more than any thing else, standing up in front of family and telling them. I imagine it feels like an alcoholic standing up in front of an AA meeting and saying you’re an alcoholic or telling your family that you have a fatal disease.
Also my cousin is a devote Catholic..

Missy's 3x Thursday


1. While living your day-to-day life, what are 3 things you look forward to throughout the week?
I could say the weekend, the weekend and the weekend. But instead I would say sleeping late, the first support group meeting of the season and going up to the cottage on Sunday to be with the family.

2. Thinking into the future, what are 3 things you look forward to achieving?
Taking early retirement, getting my master’s and doing volunteer work.

3. Do you look forward to weekends? Why?
Yes, who would not? You don’t have to work, you can stay out late at night (Eleven is late for me!) and you can be with friends.

Bonus Question for Comments: Got anything special coming up that you're looking forward to? What is it?
In October going up to a conference for a week in Provincetown MA.

Four For Friday


Q1 - Law Enforcement: Generally speaking, do you trust the police? How about the police in your town?
Yes, I trust the police. I think most police officers are honest and try to give you a break. However, I do think some of them are on a power trip. But then again I do come from a white middle class background.

Q2 - Equestrian: Have you ever ridden a horse? If so, do you remember his or her name? If not, and if you were asked to name someone else's horse, what would name it?
Nope, I have never ridden a horse and has no desire to do so.I would name it Trigger

Q3 - Cameras: Do you think it's a good or bad idea to allow cameras in courtrooms?
I have mixed feeling about having cameras in the court room. When they were first allowed I was against them but now I have softened my objections to them.

Q4 - Break-ins: Has your car or home ever been broken into? If so, what was stolen and was any of it ever recovered?
Yes, my car was broken into when I was in college a good number of years ago and they stole an eight track (Yikes, am I dating myself.)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

The Impossible Dream

from MAN OF LA MANCHA (1965)
music by Mitch Leigh and lyrics by Joe Darion

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star

Sometimes that is how I feel, like Don Quixote.
The Impossible Dream was my high school class song.

Thursday's Poem


Can you tell me why?
Why do I like the color green instead of blue?
Why do I use my left hand instead of my right hand?
Why do I like the Red Sox instead of the Yankees?
Why do I like a dress instead of a suit and tie?
Why do I like pumps instead of wing tips?
Why do I like nylon instead of cotton?
Can you tell me why?

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

A Not So Silly Little Quiz

At work because of the plant shutdown they are helping with career planning. One of the things that they showed us was a web site where you could take a quiz to find out where your strong points lay. The web site is the Princeton Review Career Quiz.
Here are my results......

People with red Interests like hands-on / problem solving job responsibilities and professions that involve practical, technical, and objective activities. Red Interests include: building, implementing, organizing, producing, and delegating, which often lead to work in manufacturing, managing, directing, small business owning, and surgery.

People with blue styles prefer to perform their job responsibilities in a manner that is supportive and helpful to others with a minimum of confrontation. They prefer to work where they have time to think things through before acting. People with blue style tend to be insightful, reflective, selectively sociable, creative, thoughtful, emotional, imaginative, and sensitive. Usually they thrive in a cutting edge, informally paced, future-oriented environment. You will want to choose a work environment or career path in which your style is welcomed and produces results.

I think they got pretty darn close to the way I see myself, I think the quiz picked out my strong points. Now remember, I am a supervisor of of an engineerng test department, so I think that they nailed it.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Dill Dip Recipe

A couple of months back I won the door prize at Gay Bingo which was a basket of goodies. One of the goodies was a package of Dill Dip which I liked so much I tried to copy from using the list of ingredients. Here is the recipe that I finally settled on;

~~ Dill Dip ~~

  • 1 cup Mayonnaise

  • 1 cup container sour cream

  • 2 tablespoon dill weed or to taste

  • 2 tablespoons dried minced onion

  • 1 tablespoon garlic powder or to taste

  • Salt to taste

Mix mayonnaise and sour cream until well blended. Add dill, onion, salt, and garlic powder to taste. Then place in the refrigerator for at least one hour.

For more of my recipes go here.

Monday, September 11, 2006

More of Those Silly Little Quizzes

From Manic Monday

Basic Comfort

Do you have a favorite comfort food? If so, what is it?
If its food, its comfort food and that’s the problem, I eat when I am stressed. I’m not that much over weight just about 25 – 30 lbs. and for my height and build that is not all that much over weight. But I still will like to get down to 190 -195lb range.

Where do you go when you need to re-charge or get away from it all?
If it is just for a little while, then I relax in the recliner. However, when I really need to get away from it all in summer then I go up to the cottage. In the winter when the cottage is not an option then I go down in basement rec room, light a fire in the woodstove and curl up on the coach.

Is there a certain item of clothing that always makes you feel better or more comfortable when you wear it?
I don’t know if this will qualify as comfort clothes? I like to lounge around in my nightgown and a big terrycloth bathrobe.

From Patrick Weekender

Sunday Seven:

You're chosen to open a mini-version of Baskin-Robbins. Instead of thirty-one flavors, you're limited to seven. Which favorite flavors would you choose?

1. Cherry Garcia
2. Heavenly Hash
3. Chocolate Fudge
4. Chocolate
5. Cherry Vanilla
6. Pistachio
7. Vanilla

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Hartford's Bushnell Park

I went to Bushnell Park today for a peace rally and to listen to the bands. But it wasn’t that great so I wandered around the park and took some photographs of the park.

For more picture visit my Web Album

More of Those Silly Little Quizzes

From Patrick’s Weekender Blog

Five For Saturday

1. How do you feel about a National ID card to replace individual state driver's licenses?

I am totally against it. I think it should be up to the states to determine what the criteria are for their driver licenses. Being transgender, I do not want the federal government telling the states what constitutes a male or female let the states define it. Also, having the requirement that you need to show a notarized copy of your birth certificate creates an undo burden on some people. I know of a woman whose pocketbook was stolen and in order to get a new driver’s license she needed a notarized copy of her birth certificate. Where she was born they require her to be there in person with ID so she had to fly out there to get a copy. However in order to fly she needed her driver’s licenses.

2. Where's the most embarrassing place you've ever fallen asleep?
At work during a meeting.

3. How long does it take you, when looking at someone for the first time, to determine whether or not you are really attracted to the person?
Not long initially, but I want to get to know them first as a person.

4. Take the quiz: What kind of drunk are you?
I don’t drink to get drunk.

5. When is the last time you were really drunk?
Thirty-two years ago when I was in college.
6. What caused the condition: Alcohol or something else?
Youthful exuberance.

From By The Way Sunday

By the way...
What was your very first paying job?
With the sate taking inventory of state owned equipment in high schools trough out the state.

Did you have a job that you just dreaded going to every day?
Yeah, the job I now have.

What was your favorite job and why did you like it?
The job I now have five years ago, before we got bought out. Back then I was a hands on supervisor, I helped my technicians if they had a problem, now all I do is paperwork.

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
A job where I can be helping people.

Friday Fiver

1. When is the last time you dressed inappropriately for a situation?
At a fundraiser, I was in a dress and everyone else was in jeans.

2. How many friends do you have?
Closes friends, two. Friends you like to hang out with, about eight.

3. Are you running on time today?
Since its Sunday, the question does not apply.

4. Do you use bleach on your laundry?
No, I am too afraid that I would use too much.

5. What are your thoughts on guns?
I do not mind people owning them, but I feel they have to be responsible for them. That they need to be licensed and trained to handle them properly. That if they are stolen that they have to report them stolen, if not then they could be held responsible for what happens.

From Belicove blog

Q1 - Politics: A recent poll conducted by CNN revealed that Republicans favor former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani for the GOP presidential nomination in 2008, while Democrats are looking toward U.S. Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton as their nominee. Looking ahead to 2008, do you feel you will pleased or disappointed with the person elected President of the United States?

I really don’t like either of those choices, if I had to pick one it would be Clinton. I did like what Giuliani did while mayor of New York.

Q2 - High School: Who were you in high school: a jock, prep, dork, geek, motor head, nerd, druggie, punk, straightedge, brainiac, suck-up, a/v cart pusher, teacher's pet, slacker, club member, etc.?
I would say I was first a geek, then nerd and club member (Science Club of course.).

Q3 - Roadside Attraction: If you were given free reign to create a roadside attraction, what would you create?
A homemade ice cream stand, but I would really have to watch out that I don’t eat up too much of the profits.

Q4 - 9/11: Do you agree with the oft-repeated line that "9/11 changed everything"?
Yes. We always knew that terrorists were targeting our country and the only thing that changed was that we woke up. Now we are going overboard with cutting back our freedom in the name of safety, which is impossible to have anyway.

Some thoughts on Connecticut Pride

Yesterday I was at the Pride Festival for most of the day; I had two booths that I had to cover. They closed down Main St for about three blocks, from City Hall to the Old State House and where we had our tables the wind roared through wind tunnel that the tall building created. They had the stage down on the south end of the street and our tables were way on the very end of Main St by the Old State House. We were the last vendors before the road block down in the Trannies Slums, all of the trans-groups were located there out of the main area (Maybe that is too harsh, I don’t think that they did it on purpose, it is just that we were all the non-paying vendors.).
The festival over all was organized very well and I had no real complaints, however I think have the festival from 3:00PM to 11:00PM was not conducive to have a family atmosphere. There were a number of couples with kids there but only from about 3:00 until 5:00 or 6:00, then it was mainly young adults and couples. When it was held at Bushnell Park from Noon until 6:00PM the entire time there were couples there pushing strollers or with young kids in tow. Also having it on Main St created second class booths, those that were closes to the stage got all the traffic and the father away you got the less traffic at the booths. At Bushnell Part they had the vendors in a circle around the stage and the traffic was equal all around. The paper say that there were 20,000 attendee but I only saw a tenth of that way down on our end.
Which brings up another topic, news coverage or the lack there of. The local newspaper had two good articles about the festival, one on Friday and one today. The television outlets coverage, zero, -0-, zip. With 20,000 people there you would think that they might had said something about it, especially considering one of the televisions network studio is just a couple of blocks away from where our table was. What did they cover? Planting of four trees in Hartford by five people that was a few blocks away. Now do you think that they were afraid to mention a GLBT event?

Saturday, September 09, 2006


Today is off to a bad start, this morning with the smoke detectors going off and just now I was in bed around seven-thirty watching the news and reading the newspaper when I heard the unmistakable roar of a hot air balloon burner. I looked out the window and saw it; the balloon was just down the street and was trying to land. I jumped up got dressed, ran got my camera, changed the lens to telephoto and ran out the door. I ran down the street to get a good shot and when I went to take a picture the camera didn’t work! The battery was dead, quick ran back and changed the battery. Ran back down the street and they had already rolled up the balloon. :-(
It’s those damn lithium batteries they have a flat discharge curve, they read full then all of a sudden they drop like a rock. When I last used the camera the battery read just about full, down about a quarter and that was two weekends ago. Now it read less than a quarter full.
I guest there is a lesson learned here, at the cost of some good pictures.

Are We Going Backwards and Not Foreword in this Country?

I found this posting on Helen Boyd blog, (en)Gendered and it was tiled “Chile 1, U.S. 0

Feminist Daily News Wire
September 6, 2006
Chile: Birth Control Free for Women Over 14

The Chilean government recently decided that contraception will be publicly available for all women over the age of 14. According to IPS, all public health centers must dispense birth control, including emergency contraception (EC), free of charge. The decree also ensures that younger women can without authorization from their parents obtain a prescription for birth control pills.

The Catholic Church and conservative politicians are already criticizing the decision that aims to give women of all ages and incomes control over their sexual and reproductive lives. Chilean President Michelle Bachelet, a pediatrician, responded, saying to the Santiago Times, "The obligation of the state is to provide alternatives, and the obligation of families, of each one of us, is to communicate with our children, explain things to them, and to teach them." Government Spokesperson Ricardo Weber expanded on the real need for Chile to provide these services, telling IPS that 14 of every 100 young people are sexually active by the age of 14.

The decision was made by the Chilean Health Ministry after the Chilean Center for the Development of Women asked for greater accessibility to EC.

Now compare this to the requirements that Texas just passed.

Feminist Daily News Wire
September 5, 2006
Texas Finalizes Parental Consent Form; Includes Notarization Requirement

The Texas Medical Board finalized Texas' parental consent form last week for women under 18 seeking an abortion, mandating that the form be notarized by a third party. Though the Texas legislature passed the parental consent law in 2005, the Medical Board was responsible for drafting the final version of the form. The parental consent law passed by the legislature did not require the form be notarized. The official consent form will take effect 20 days after it is published in the Texas Register, which is expected to happen in the next two weeks, according to the Houston Chronicle.

Reproductive rights activists opposed the notarization requirement because of the added difficulty that it places on pregnant teens, and because of the lack of privacy involved with notarization. "This is the result of political pressure from other organizations who do not believe a woman or her parents can be trusted with private medical decisions," said Emily Snooks, spokeswoman of Planned Parenthood of North Texas, about the notarization requirement according the Star-Telegram.

I don’t know, but I think we are taking two steps forward and three steps backward. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that they have a woman President who is also a pediatrician.
In the ideal world I would be in favor of paternal notification. But I deal with social workers on a regular bases and I know that in the real world it would mean their death if they told a parent. The social workers constantly see girls that are beaten by their father’s because the father didn’t like the boy that she was dating or because he didn’t like the way she dressed, it could be fatal.
Do we really want girls to have to go out and seek “backroom abortions” or take something because she heard it from a friend, who heard it from her friend that if you take these pills and drink this liquid it will cause an abortion? Or do we want to deal with sanely.

Can You Find Me..........

Can you find me?

I am in the second row from the top, in the Cub Scout uniform.
This is my second grade class photo taken in 1957. I don’t know if you can see it that well from the photo, but half of the class is missing their front teeth.


At around two AM this morning my smoke detectors when off. All seven of them! I woke up running in circles trying to figure out where the noise was coming from, my brain slowly started to eliminate the possibilities and it figured out that it was the smoke detectors. I then started checking all the rooms of the house while this unbelievable racket was going on and all the rooms were all clear. While I was trying to think what to do next, they stopped. Silence returned mockingly to the night. I waited a few minutes to make sure that there would be no other false alarms and then tried get back to sleep with all the adrenalin rushing through my body.
This happen before over five years ago but then the alarms would stop and then start up again about five – ten minutes later. Back then I traced the problem to a little spider that was crawling in and out of one of the smoke detectors. But tonight it was just once and that was it, I just hope that it does not happen again.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Connecticut Pride Festival

I’m going to be busy the next couple of days as I get things ready for our tables at the CT Pride Festival this coming Saturday. I have two tables to co-ordinate this year, the Connecticut Outreach Society’s and the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition's. Plus I want to stop by the Ned Lamont campaign booth.

Thursday's Poem


It is neither black nor white, but it all the shades of gray.
It is neither day nor night, but it is twilight.
It is neither hot nor cold, but a pleasant warmth.
It is neither truth nor a lie, but white lies.

We are like the colors of a rainbow.
We are like spices to a chef.
We are like the colors on an artist palette.
We are like a bridge that spans male and female.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


To shake off the Blues I went shopping. I bought some clothes (pair of blue jeans and a top) and also some stuff (A soap dish, hand cream pump and matching towel) for the half bath in the den.

News Flash!

We just had an announcement at work telling us that they are going to be starting to phase out our jobs. As the current contacts end they will be laying us off starting in six months and finally ending in the spring of 2008.
What does it mean to me; since I was planning on retiring in the fall of 2008 I will just move my plans up a little earlier. It means that I can start my transitioning a year earlier. It means that I can start getting my masters earlier and they will pay for part of my tuition. But it also means that financially I might be a little strapped for awhile until I can start taking money out of my 401(k)’s and IRA’s (But I think that there is an exception for being laid off).
We all saw the hand writing on the wall with no new contracts coming in, so it wasn’t a complete surprise, but still it will take awhile for it to sink in. It is the other co-workers that I worry about, they will have a hard time trying to make ends meet and paying the bills. Also it is like one big family at work, most of us have been there for over fifteen years and I have been there for twenty-eight years, I will miss them.
So I have mixed feelings, we’ll have to wait to see how they sort out.

Monday, September 04, 2006

A Nice Easy Weekend.

I took a half day Friday to help my brother and nephew load the truck with my parent’s furniture to bring up to the cottage on Saturday. Then Saturday night on the way home from New Hampshire I went to a cookout in Springfield. And this afternoon I had a cookout at my house to finish up the leftovers. Ever notice how at a leftover party you end up with more leftovers than you started with?

The parties were just what the doctored ordered, just a nice quite party to sit around and talk with friends. Two friends broke out their guitars and they played some Beach Boy, Eagles, Simon and Garfunkle and a few other songs from other groups. Just nice and relaxing evening.

Good Night.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Saturday Six - Episode 125

From Patrick's Weekender Blog

1. What was the last charity you donated something to? How long ago did you make your last donation?
The last time I donated sometime to a non-profit was two large bags of cans to the Girl Scouts at the beginning of summer. But, I donate a large amount of time, including two that I am on the Board of Directors

2. Describe the worst weather event/national disaster that you experienced firsthand.
Well to pick one out is hard. I would have to say the top three events are; Hurricanes (1955, 1957 and Gloria), an ice storm back in the sixties we lost power for a week and the blizzard of ’78.

3. Did the experience you just described change you in any way, (or if you've never experienced such an event firsthand, do you think it would change you significantly)?
No, not really. I make sure I have a stash of can food all the time, batteries and a portable radio.

4. Take the quiz: What subjects should you have studied in school?

Your Learning Style: Expressive and Tenacious

You love to learn about new cultures, ideas, and theories.

You Should Study:

Counseling – Yeah, since I am thinking about going for my masters in Social Work
Ethnic Studies
Foreign Languages and Literature - I have a hard enough time with English.
Music - No way, I have a tin ear
Eastern Religion

5. Did you actually study or major in any of the courses suggested by the quiz?
No, I majored in Electical Engineering.

6. What's your current screen saver? How long have you had it, and what do you like best about it?
My photograph of the waves breaking on Ogunquit ME rocky shoreline that I took back in May and that is also when I made it My Screen Saver.

~Recreation This-n-That~

From "By the Way Sunday"

With the last official weekend of summer in full swing, everyone is enjoying their favorite activities.
By the way, what's your choice...

White Water Rafting or a Hot Air Balloon?
I would like to do both, but I think Hot Air Balloon would win out. I would like to do it in the fall when the leaves start to change.

Monopoly or Poker?
Monopoly of the two. However for board games I like Backgammon and for card games I like Hearts or Rummy.

Home Cookout or Favorite Restaurant?
I’m in a lazy mood, so I would say eating out.

Badminton or Volleyball?
Neither. Too much like work!

Billiards or Ping Pong?
Since I have a pool table, I would have to say billiards.

Miniature Golf or Laser Tag?
Miniature golf, we has enough violence in the world aready.

Pool or Lake?
Lake, since I have a cottage on a lake in New Hampshire.

Shopping or a Movie?
Shopping, hands down.

Camp Site or Hotel?
How about a B&B? Does that count for a hotel? I my younger days I use to go backpacking for four or five days at a time carrying a sixty pound pack. The longest trip that I took was 25 miles in two days

Mountain Biking or Horseback Riding?
Horseback riding, less work and it sounds like fun.

Reading a Book or Playing Video Games?
A book, video games just do not interest me.

Bird Watching or Cave Exploring?
Cave exploring, I use to go spelunking when I was a teenager some forty years ago but now I am terribly out of shape.

Sailing or Jet Skis?
Sailing, I have a sunfish at the cottage and I always wanted to go up the Maine coast on a windjammer cruise.

Flea Market or Football Game?

Fishing or Swimming?
Swimming, I use to go fishing but I was never really fond of killing the fish for sport. Even if you catch and release the fish will most likely die.

On the Lighter Side

With all of the editorializing I have been doing, I decide to lighten up.
I was watching CBS Sunday Morning this morning and they had a piece on Drive-In theaters and it made me nostalgic. I remember when drive-ins were everywhere, on the Berlin Turnpike there used to be three drive-ins (Berlin, Pike and Newington theaters) and one by one they died until there was none. Just last month they tore down the last one to build condos, the theater was over grown with weeds, the screen was covered in graffiti and had many wholes in it, but it held many of memories of growing up. I shed a tear as drove by as they were tearing it down.
When I was little my family use to go to a drive-in once or twice a month during the summer. My brother and I use to go down to the play area before the movie started and ten rush back to the car at the start of the movie. I remember as I got older going on dates to the drive-in and in winter we went to the drive-ins that heaters to put in your car (Who cared if the windows fogged up.). When you went with your friends we always drew straws to see who would have to hide in the trunk and we brought in a six pack or two of beer for each of us.
I think the kids today are missing out, it was a place to bring families, it was a place to go on a date to be alone and it was place to go and have fun.

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam....

We have to do something about SPAM. As most of you I am the director of a local transgender support group and as such I have several email accounts that I check [i.e. info(AT)]. I was busy for the last two days and I didn’t check the email accounts as a result on one account I got 86 spam emails and one legitimate inquiry and on the other account 54 spam emails and no real inquiries.
In the United States spamming is illegal, however the authorities clam that they have a hard time finding those that are sending the spam, well don’t go after who’s sending the emails go after the people who are paying them to send it! After all they want us to buy something, so go after the sellers, they have to have someplace where they collect the money so hit them there, in the pocketbook!
Maybe if government realize that it cost American business money then government might get up and do something. It cost them money in missed orders or clients not being able to get in contact with them or employees just trying to weeding out the spam.
So thing has to be done, just in the time that I wrote thing I got 3 spam emails.

Friday, September 01, 2006

At The Mall

My brother was down this weekend from Kennebunk to help take the stuff from my parent’s house that is stored in my basement up to our cottage. While we were loading the truck, I got a call from the camera store telling me my remote for my camera was in and I could pick it up. So after we finished we went to the mall to pick it up (I went as Don because my brother doesn’t like me to change back and forth and we also went out to dinner with my nephew.). On the way out of the mall we walked by a group of teenage boys hanging out, one of them followed us and made kissing sounds thinking that we were a couple of gays.
First I was mad (I still am), and then I thought is that what the kids now a days think when they see two men walking together? What made them think that it was OK to confront two strangers like that in a public mall? Was it because he was in a pack of his friends that he was emboldened or was he showing off to the girls that were sitting on the bench?
I am more or less use to being harassed and go out of my way to avoid locations where I might get harassed, like the mall. So I wasn’t prepared for this and it took me off guard, maybe this is why I am writing this to let off steam. Why do they think they have the right to accost someone who they think are different?
I rant...... enough said.